Updated: Jul 31, 2019
I can recall many days scrolling through Instagram's explore page, like “Dang, shawty dope AF. I’d be her friend”. But do people do that? Do you find friends on IG? Do I send her a message? Like the pic? I mean, how does this work?
Living in the era of “no new friends”, it has been hard to decide whether to stick with my faithful few, or venture out in search of new connections. But let’s be honest finding friends, I mean real friends, in adulthood is a challenge not many are ready or willing to face.
In college, your friends are usually your roommates, the girl you met in class because you both were struggling, your sorority sisters, or the drunk girl you helped up at the party. Y’all shared an experience together and a friendship blossomed. But after college then what? After graduation it’s like the friendship well dries up, and you’re on your own. And because of this I gave up. I started believing that friendships are only born in youth. It was a subconscious thing, I suppose, because I don’t think I ever thought about it until I thought about it, you know?
Backtrack to a few years ago, I could count all my friends on one hand. I had my crew, and I didn’t need any more. I had my turn up friends, my friend I could call after a breakup, my roadtrip friend, and a few others. Everything was perfect until it wasn't. I found my self expecting things from my friends simply because they had been my friend for what felt like forever. It was a selfish feeling, in hindsight. Marriage, jobs, school, among other things stole my friends, and rightfully so. That was their story, their journey. It didn't hit me that some people's journey takes them on a path unfamiliar to me, and that just because we aren't traveling the same path we can't meet up in the middle. I thought I had it all figured out, but I was so wrong. Drake was so wrong! We need new friends; I needed new friends. Not to discount my old friends, but new connections bring new adventures. I needed new girlfriends that knew the twenty something year old me. I needed new friends that were going through similar journeys. I needed new friends that would hold me accountable. I needed friends that would pray for me and with me. Over the years, I have watched new relationships bloom. Some have grown into lifelong bonds, and some died with time. However, they were all worth it. They were all exactly what I needed at the time. They all shaped the woman I have become, the woman I have grown to love.
In every woman I call my friend, I can think of a lesson they taught me, or a lesson we learned together. My oldest friendship dates back nearly 20 years, and my newest about a year and a half. They all mean the world to me. No matter the length of time, a friend is a friend, and I am so very grateful for my Day 1’s, Day 2’s, those I’ve met in passing, and those I shall meet in the future.
***Girlfriends are Good for the Soul